More Than Settling
*DISCLAIMER I AM NOT CALLING ANYONE OUT*
*ALSO THANK YOU TO MY CO-SENATOR JESSIE FOR THIS IDEA*
LOOK WHO IS BACK!!!!
Ok I am not saying all of this because I am single. I am saying this because it is true. We deserve more than settling. This is a letter to all my beautiful friends out there. Even you, boys. Except maybe I should call y'all hott or something instead of beautiful. <3
Dear ____,
Hello...it's me... I was wondering-Sorry I couldn't help it!!:)
Hi! I hope you are having a good day! If not, I hope that it gets better :). I am writing to tell you something that you should hold onto for life. Everyone deserves more than settling. So don't waste your time on a relationship that requires you to possibly settle.
I get it, it is hard to find a relationship. I get how it can feel impossible to find a perfect relationship. I get wanting to make a relationship work. I understand all of that. Because I have done that. I have tried to make relationships work. But honestly, you should not have to strain yourself to make it work. Trust me, I know. How you may ask? Well, let me tell you.
I am not trying to call anyone out in this post. I have no regrets or grudges to the guys that I have dated. I have dated a few guys and trust me I fell pretty hard for some of them. Which is something that makes me who I am. I care a lot and when I really fall for someone, I fall hard and sometimes fast. But I am really careful because I know that if I fall hard and fast that I also let my guard down. When that happens, I sometimes become blind to characteristics that I necessarily do not like. For example, I don't need to be anyone's priority but sometimes it is nice to be treated like I am priority. So when I am constantly treated as second best, it can sometimes upset me. Especially when it comes to things such as going out or spending time together. But at the same time I can sometimes overreact and get upset about things and instead of talking about it, I get upset and avoid the person. When my ex canceled our date for another commitment with some of his friends I got upset and didn't talk to him until he made me talk to him. No one should have to deal with that because that is an overreaction. In my head it was rational, but it was not and I know that now and I have learned that. I have learned about how important communication is. If I had learned that earlier, the relationship could have lasted but I beleive it required the break up to teach me that. Another example is one that is common in college. Parties. Now do not get me wrong, I like going out and having fun but I have limits. I don't go out during the week and I do not party when I have important papers or exams that are coming up in the week. But one of my ex's loved to go out and wanted us to go out together. I wouldn't when I had a paper or test and that was an issue at time. I did not see it as a problem though, I didn't ask him to not go out and have fun. I didn't give him a hard time for going out. I just did not say anything. But he wanted me to come and would give me a hard time when I didn't. Should I have dealt with that? No. But at the time I did not see it as a deal breaker, I just dealt with it.
Ok, let me just say that no guy or girl should have to just DEAL WITH IT. If something in a relationship upsets you, do not just deal with it. Speak up and say something and if it keeps happening then maybe it is time to rethink the relationship and possibly walk away. Dealing with it, is settling because you are just allowing it to go on. I am not saying that it is your fault, I am just saying that dealing with it, will not change a thing. It only allows you to just settle with a relationship.
So what have I learned about myself when it comes to relationships? There is a lot that I can do to improve the quality of my relationships. Such as when I get upset, I should talk to who I am upset with. That is the only way I can improve the relationship. Another thing is that I can fall pretty hard and fast for a person. Imagine how you feel about someone after being with them for three months and that is how I can sometimes feel after a month and a half. Is that rational? No. But I cannot necessarily stop it. All I can do is keep my head on my shoulders and not let my guard down. Because if there is something in a relationship that upsets you then not doing anything about it is settling. And you deserve more than that. You deserve someone who understands you and fits with you. You deserve someone who allows you to be you.
Everyone, please remember that you are more. You are more than a number. You are more than a relationship. You are more than your past. You are more than a stereotype. You are more than judgement. You are more than words. You are more than settling! <3
Love,
Roisin
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